Posts Tagged ‘Michael Fassbender’

Here it is everyone! Film 100! Thank you to everyone that has stuck with me after my complete uselessness at updating this thing! Hopefully from now on it will be a lot better. I’m sure going to try anyway. And hopefully I will continue to amuse and all that stuff. But let’s wait no longer! I’m so excited to write about this film. I could pee…

Prometheus. After discovering signs all over the world, a team goes out to space to find the origins of the human race and come across something a lot more sinister.

I have been excited for ages to see this film. I didn’t actually think that I would be going to see this in the cinema, due to my really bad geographical location to everything good in the world. But lo and behold! It showed up in the cinema whilst I was visiting friends. We jumped at the chance to see it, and then discovered it was in 3D. Despite seeing other films in 3D, I knew this one would trash all of those other ones because Ridley Scott made this film for 3D. So you know. So much potential.

Ooooooooooh you didn’t disappoint me Prometheus!

I love this film. In every single damn way it is possible to love a film. I could ramble on and on for so long on how much I love it. But I need to be as short as I can…

Let’s start with the 3D I guess. I’ve seen 3D film before. They’ve never really properly effected my watching experience. This film however, was absolutely breathtaking. I mean, Oh My Life. It’s a sexy sexy film. The 3D was damn near perfect. Naturally there were the occasional moment where it was just blurry, but you know. We’re still perfecting this 3D thing. I forgive you. But there were scenes in this that I just wanted to die to. I will say that I’m not sure how this film will project onto 2D screens, but nonetheless I’m excited to find out. And I am so very very very very glad that I watched it in 3D.

The acting is next. I’ll just get to the point. Michael Fassbender is the most beautiful man on this planet. His character of the android David was amazing. For a brief moment, I forgot he was this android and found his stiff walking very like ‘ooer’. But then I remembered and all that went out the window. It also tickled me how British he sounded. But again, that was when I forgot he was an android. But he was absolutely breathtaking. Breath. Taking. Yep. I love him. I do. I really do. Love love love love.

There were other actors in this film. There were, honestly. But to be honest, Fassbender thrashed them all. Although, the character was Shaw was pretty badass. I shudder at the memory of a certain scene that I cannot describe to you due to uber-spoilers, but it makes me not want to be a woman anymore. She is badass. And she bounced a lot off of David’s character. So you know. Yeah. I’m not biased…

I actually really liked the story too. I haven’t seen the Alien movies, so the issues a lot of fans have with this was kind of not applicable to me. My friends did say that they wished it had been a little bit more explanatory, but I don’t care. I don’t need to know why all these things happened. This film dug it’s hook into me, and I liked the mystery of everything that was going on.

Oh. I do love this film so. I really do. Did you notice?

I’m going to stop, otherwise I will totally blow this film for everyone. Please, for the love of everything good in the world, watch this film. Please? In 3D if you can. That experience is mind blowing. And if you have seen this film in 2D, let me know what it’s like. Because I’m going to get it on DVD the second it comes out. I love it. Yep.



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So hello there! Welcome back to the world of what I think of films, otherwise known as Dancing With Jellyfish’s blog. Yep, since my university work is very nearly over, I feel like I deserve to have a break from it. Tomorrow the work on the final piece commences. For now though, let’s see how many films I can fit into the day before I get stupidly tired.

Blood Creek. After a young man’s missing brother returns to him and demands that he follows, they go off into the world of Nazi cults and try to kill some evil Nazi man who isn’t Hitler.

I saw the trailer for this. It looked intriguing. I saw the actors in it. Michael Fassbender (my loyal readers will know what I mean), Henry Cavill (again, you’ll know what I mean) and that guy from Prison Break (who I thought was amazing in the few episodes that I watched). Pretty decent cast. So, what could possibly go wrong.

Practically everything.

To have a film with this kind of cast and it not turn out to be freaking awesome is a sin. No word of a lie. It’s written down in the rule book of life. Look it up. Seriously.

What did they think they were doing? The Prison Break guy (also known as Dominic Purcell) practically shouted his way through the film. Mostly at times where they were meant to be quiet. Good move, dude. They’ll never find you.

Michael Fassbender was just horrific. I have never been less attracted to him. Like, seriously. He rips his face off about three times during the damn thing. And he oozes jam. Or marmalade. If you can get orange coloured jam, then I’ll stick with the original description. And for a guy that is part-German, his accent pretty much sucked. The coolest thing about him is that scar you see in the poster, and you know what? I never saw it in the damn film. Now that’s what I call false advertising.

And Henry Cavill. Well, for a pretty shocking film, you were the best thing about it. Your presentation of the character who’s name I don’t even remember (maybe Evan, or Ethan) was the most convincing out of the lot. Just a note though: maybe seem a little bit more surprised when your brother shows up out of nowhere and convinces you to go butcher some people. Okay? Good.

The rhythm of this film was pretty much shocking. They pretty much rushed the backstory once the whole Nazi cult thing was introduced. Oh, this guys missing. Oh no, wait there he is. And he’s pissed off. And now their on a farm. And now they’re shooting people…Slow down. Seriously.

I can usually compliment a really bad film with it’s use of visuals. And apart from one truly breathtaking shot in black and white of Michael Fassbender’s eyes followed by a young girl’s eyes (no sarcasm intended there…it really was breathtakingly beautiful) the rest pretty much sucked. The creative dream shot was just blurry and disorientating, the cannibal horse (yep) scene was just bizarre and the special effects of ripping faces off and some form of gunk coming out of Fassbender’s face was just wrong. All wrong. What were they thinking? Really, someone explain it to me.

I really wanted to like this film. The theme and stuff looked so promising to me, and I didn’t think Fassbender and Cavill would be in a film this epically messed up. But they did. And that blows. I don’t want to not recommend it to you. It’s not one of those so bad it should be burned films. You can watch it with friends and laugh about it and then never watch it again. But that would honestly be the only reason you want to see this film. It’s bad. So bad.

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I thought I’d start this post off by saying that it can be expected that I won’t be posting as often for the next 4 or 5 weeks. University work is a little bit of a priority…but I’ve read the allocated book for the day and whilst my mum is out I thought I would watch a film to pass my time…

Eden Lake. A British horror film following a couple that go for a romantic trip that goes horribly wrong.

I must admit something, before we go on. I’m a Michael Fassbender fan (if you don’t already know that). I’m aiming to watch all of his films. And I’m doing pretty good so far. So that’s why I decided to watch this film. Not the reason I watched it today though…it was simply the first film I grabbed. But, you know, in the long run, it was for Mr Fassbender.


I was expecting more gore, I must admit. So in that sense, I’m pretty glad that it was watchable for me. But daaaaym this film is sick. Like, seriously. There’s the occasional gross moment in this film, but that’s not really what it is about this film that makes my stomach turn…

It’s how sick people can be to each other. You see films like Saw (not seen that yet and not looking forward to it at all) and this film would in comparison be quite tame. But Saw you realise the unlikeliness of that actually happening. In this film…well, let’s just say that I could see this kind of stuff happening. And it’s sick. It shows just how twisted people, and in particular teenagers, can be in this day and age. And it makes me wonder why? Why do people get off on this kind of thing? I kind of feel scared to walk in the woods alone now…really, that’s how much this film has scared me.

And it’s all because of Jack O’Connell. I’ve seen him in Skins, and he plays a prat in that too. But, you know, he never killed anyone. In this, he gets off on shredding Fassbender up, burning him and a small child (yeah…small child…) and bashing his friend’s face in until he dies. I haven’t seen O’Connell play any other kind of role, but this has got to be his finest yet. He is sadistic, and chillingly suited to this role. I could see this boy doing this everyday. Not sure if that’s good acting on his half or just himself exaggerating his behaviour, but holy hell, man!

Sad to say that O’Connell stole the show, in my opinion. We have Kelly Reilly, a slightly less known actress to me…well, completely unknown actually. And, yeah, okay, she’s okay. Her running away from hoodies scenes are pretty convincing. It’s just everything else. The scenes with Fassbender all come off a little whiny and pathetic. It irritates me. A lot. But then again, I suppose that’s always the way in horror films, isn’t it? Throw in a really annoying leading lady and you’re sure to have a convincing horror film, because they pretty much always turn out as badasses. Well, yep film. You succeeded in that.

And then there’s Fassbender. The reason I watched the film in the first place. Well…let’s just say that I prefer his more complex characters, like Magneto or David (yeah, I have already decided that his Prometheus character will be awesome from the viral I saw on Filmophilia’s site. But my life, this man doesn’t half go through hell in this film. And he does so very well. As he gets his side ripped up, I actually felt it. It was horrible. And as he was dying in his girlfriend’s arms and telling her his plans for their honeymoon, I think I may have teared up a bit. And it’s not often that I do that during horror films. But yeah, as much as I loved this character, I will hold my hands up and say that this is not his greatest role.

And the way this film was done is genius. I mean, half of the time you don’t see the horrors that happen to Fassbender or see the child burning (yep, I won’t let you forget that), which I suppose in a way is good. But you see it in your mind. And I don’t know if that’s worse or not, but it sure made me puke a little in my mouth. And the things you do see, like the rock through her foot, are just sick. Really horrible. Not stupidly over the top with blood splurging everywhere, but just that right kind of nastiness that will possibly give me nightmares tonight. So this is the right kind of wrong. Because that foot scene is bloody wrong!

So I suppose you can tell that I liked this film right? Not for the reasons that I thought I would though. Fassbender really didn’t shine too much, neither did Reilly, but O’Connell and the sick, twisted way in this film worked is what made me fall pretty much in love with it. Not sure what it is about sick films nowadays, but I seem to be liking more and more of them. Not that I like what I see…but the fact that it made me sick without making me sick…does that make sense.

Regardless. Watch it. Now. Do it. You doing it? GO!

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So here we are. Day 5. Let’s get going.

Inglourious Basterds. The fictional tale of the attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Not my type of film in the slightest.

Oh how wrong I was.

This film was epic. And when i say epic, I mean EPIC.

Who would have thought that a little girl like me would enjoy something so brutal, so violent, so manly? Certainly not me. The gruesome bits bothered me, sure. I mean, it’s never fun watching a man get scalped or seeing a man shoot machine gun bullets into someone’s face over and over. Unless you’re a bloke that is. Then those kinds of things are cool. And, despite my better judgement, I found the whole thing cool as well.

What got me through, you ask? Well I’ll tell you. Brad Pitt. Yup, that’s what I said. Bradd Pitt. His performance as Aldo Raine was absolutely HILARIOUS. I don’t think I have ever found anything quite as funny as his attempt of speaking Italian in a heavy Tennessee accent. ‘Correcto’. And his distaste for fighting in a basement? Brilliant. Pure genius. I always undervalue his talents. I really should stop doing that.

It was also hilarious to watch Michael Fassbender, a man with a very strong Irish accent, play a very very pompous Englishman. Can’t pretend I didn’t giggle like a schoolgirl at that. And I must say, for a man who died by a couple of rounds in the balls, he died pretty epically. After that scene, I had no idea what had happened. But I knew that I’d enjoyed every second of it.

And the man who played Hans Landa. Christoph Waltz. He is one scary son of a gun. I have never been so impressed by a bad guy, that a part of me wanted them to succeed, even though I was against everything he believed in. Okay. So maybe Moriarty in Sherlock wins that prize. But this guy comes a good close second.

The one thing that I’m really surprised that I didn’t enjoy was the romantic element to it. The whole soldier/Jew love thing that was going on? Totally unnecessary. I do like me a bit of romance, but this film really could have just done without it. Guns. That’s all this film needed. Guns and blood and death. And some bad accents. That was most certainly needed.

As a parting gift to you lovely readers, I would highly recommend this film. Even if you are a squeamish wimp like me, seriously, just do it. If I can learn to love this film, then I’m sure you can too. Even if it is just to hear Brad Pitt’s disastrous attempt at being an Italian man.

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So. Day 2. Shall we begin?

 Jonah Hex. An industrial western film based on a comic. A man who has his family killed goes out for revenge, whilst stopping America being destroyed. Sounds exciting, yes?


Well. Okay. A bit. I mean, I did sit and watch it all. I suppose that counts for something. Plus, I did quite like the concept of Hex being able to bring people back from the dead by touching them. That, I admit, did shock me a little.

I’ll tell you what really bugged me. John. Freaking. Malkovich. No matter what film I see him in, I hate it. I hate him. People insist he’s a good actor, but I’ve yet to see it. Sorry Mr Malkovich. You just annoy me with your overacting.

Aside from that, the other big characters were pretty naff too. Jonah was just too miserable for me (I know he was supposed to be, but come on, there’s no need to be that miserable) and Lila (or whatever her name was) is just a waste of space if you ask me. No need for her character whatsoever.

The only good character was Burke, played by Michael Fassbender. This, however, annoyed me because he was not the main villan, yet I was a heck of a lot more scared of him than I was of Malkovich. And it seemed to me that, although Turnbull (Malkovich) was the one that Hex was out to kill, it was actually Burke that did everything. So, surely you would want to kill Burke rather than Turnbull? Oh well. I was actually disappointed when Burke snuffed it, seeing as he was the only decent thing in the film for me.

I’m sorry. I lie. The dog was also good. Without the dog, there would be no Jonah Hex. True fact.

So, despite all the things that I could potentially have loved (crows flying out of mouths and resurrecting dead friends) this film just didn’t cut it for me. I’m so disappointed. I had high hopes. But there you go. I salute you Burke and Dog, for making this disappointing film somewhat entertaining.

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