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Posts Tagged ‘unnecessary sequel’

The marathon continues. The fourth film of the Alien marathon. What will it be like?

Alien Resurrection. They find Ripley, clone her, and shit happens.

THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST THIS FILM SHOULDN’T EXIST!

I mean come on! Really? What the hell were you thinking? The last film had such an incredible ending! It was perfect! Why shit on something so amazing? Why did you do this?

God. I don’t even want to acknowledge this as a film. It shouldn’t be on this earth. But it is. So…I guess I’ll have to say something.

The story is stupid. It is. They resurrection Ripley because, you know, we need another Alien film in our life. They get the alien out of her. They breed them. And it all goes to shit. What did you think would happen? And then the queen alien gives birth the human way, so essentially we see an alien vagina. And then that thing is just stupid. And then it dies. God! Did this really need to exist?

The acting is shocking too. At this point, I’m sick of seeing Sigourney Weaver. I can’t comprehend what she thought she was doing in this film. And the other good actor in this film has been in Lord of the Rings, and playing Grima Wormtounge. Well. He certainly lives up to that name. Tries to tongue a freaking alien. Fuck me….

Oh, and the humour. You know. It was funny. This film was funny. It was so fucking funny. It was so crap. I hate it. Burn this film with fire!

Oh. And about seven or eight times, the same thing was repeated  over and over again. What’s inside me? What’s inside me? What’s inside me? What’s inside me? What’s inside me? No fighting. No fighting. No fighting. No fighting. She’s a robot. She’s a robot. She’s a robot. She’s a robot. She’s a robot. YES FILM! WE KNOW THIS INFORMATION! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Oh, and you want to know the best part? Rotten Tomatoes rated this better than the last film…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT? THIS FILM SHOULD NOT EXIST SO HOW CAN IT BE BETTER THAN ONE THAT NEEDED TO EXIST? GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!

That’s it. I’m done. This film should be exiled. Never come back into play. No counter spells, no flashbacks, no anything like that. Just leave.

So, I’m now going to start on the Predator films. I’m such a fan of Arnie…*cough*…wish me luck!

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